My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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