i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
