UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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