im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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