do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
