he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
