I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
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Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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