You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
