he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
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