why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
