the condom got lost in my hair
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
