just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We need to get me chipped asap
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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