is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize