Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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