ugly people sure do ruin things
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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