Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
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I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
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I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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