your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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