worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
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He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
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You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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