A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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