I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
