I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
