Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She announced her abortion via fbk
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?