I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.