Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking