yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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