I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
