Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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