is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize