he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
