someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
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He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
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time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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