No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
