Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
