Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
