naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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