We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
