If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
