i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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