Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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