Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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