Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
