I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
