i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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