Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
