I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
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Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
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Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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