He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
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he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
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Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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