I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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