She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
