were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
