Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm at about main and main street
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
