no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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