..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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