I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Randomize
