can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
