I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
