You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
