he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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