Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
