D3 body, D1 cock
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
