So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I lost the right to judge tonight
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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