I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize