WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
