I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
