I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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