is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
